My ten year old daughter puts my life in clear perspective when she says "I just want a family, my mom and dad, my brother and sister". What she means by that is she wants her family together, because we are not.
We are seperated by three states and a four hour drive and soon...a divorce.
That is such an ugly word. You dont really understand the ugliness of it until it is something you and your entire family have to face head on, with all the implications and fall-out it brings.
I wish I could give her the family she wants without all the disfunction. Her wish for a family that is together is something everyone wants, well, for the most part. I wanted it. I begged and pleaded for it. I struggled with depression, overlooked signs and situations that maybe I shouldn't have for it.
I know the best gift a child can receive is the love of two parents, who love eachother. I believe that a child learns from her parents, how to love, how to live and how to hande life and all of it's ups and downs. Right now, I feel like my main priority needs to be to love my children unconditionally, love myself and be the best I can be. I know she is right in her thoughts and wishes for a family that is together. But, as ugly as the word divorce is, the words depression and mistrust are too.
"people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime"
I need to clear my conscience quit feeling sorry for myself and focus on being and staying happy and supportive and loving towards my three favorite little people... because even my three year old understands what's going on with our broken little family and soon so will the baby.
Any single moms (or dads) reading this?